皮爾遜（Rita F. Pierson）生於教師世家🚰，從1972年初為人師，到2013年去世，四十年撲在課堂上，是美國最受學生喜愛的老師之一。她曾經告誡一位同事：“小孩子可不跟他們不喜愛的人學習。”可她也坦承並不全都喜愛自己所教的學生。但凡老師均不免遇上難搞的學生，不喜愛這類學生乃是人之常情。身為教師在執教中該如何對待那些不怎麽討喜的學生呢？請看皮老師在TED上的一場摩登3演講🌲，從中或許可以琢磨現代師生倫理以及為師之道。頻觀看
我這輩子都耗在學校裏，要麽在去學校的路上，要麽在談論學校發生的事情。我的雙親是摩登3工作者🪗，我的外公外婆是摩登3工作者🔕，我做同樣的事四十年了。所以，不用說🫃🏿，過往的歲月裏我有機會從諸多角度審視摩登3改革🪘。有些改革甚好，有些改革卻不怎麽妙👨🏿🔧。我們知道小孩子為什麽輟學，我們知道小孩子為什麽不學。個中原因要麽是貧窮，要麽是低出勤率，或者是同夥的壞影響🍐。我們知道為什麽。但是，其中有一件事我們從不討論或者極少討論🚘，那就是人類聯接（即關系）的價值和重要性。
詹姆士·卡莫說：沒了有意義的關系🖕🏼🫲，就不會發生有意義的學習🍩。喬治·華盛頓·卡弗說：一切學習都是理解各種關系。在座各位都曾經受到某個老師或某個成年人影響🟠🫷。我看人教書多年💂🏽♂️，看過最好的，也看過一些最差勁的。
有一次，有個同事跟我說：“他們沒有付費給我去愛孩子。他們付費給我去教書。小孩子得學，我得教。他們得學會。就是這麽個理兒🙆♂️。”
然後，我就跟她說🫰：“你知道，小孩子可不跟他們不喜愛的人學習。”
她說：“這簡直就是一派胡言。”
然後我對她說🙍🏽♂️：“好吧，親愛的🧑🏻🍼，你這一年會變得又漫長又痛苦。”
事實果真如此☄️。有些人認為🪺，你要麽有能力建立關系🖐🏻，要麽不具有這種能力⚠。我認為史蒂芬·柯維的想法是對的。他說，你只需要做一些簡單的事情，比如力求先理解他人，而不是力求先自己得到理解🏟，又比如道歉🧔🏼♀️。你想過嗎？——你跟孩子說對不起🌋，他們都驚呆了。
我曾經上過一堂比例課🍀。我數學不是很好🐱，但我當時就在教數學。然後，我回去翻了一下教師用書💂♂️。我整堂課都教錯了。（笑聲）
於是我第二天回到班上說：“同學們🌥🚵🏿♀️，我要道歉。我整堂課都教錯了。我非常抱歉🏌🏻♀️。”
他們說，“沒關系♏️，皮老師。你講得那麽起勁，我們就讓你講下去了。”
我曾經教過程度非常低的班級，學業上差到我哭了🥱。我心裏直打鼓：在9個月之內怎麽把這幫孩子從他們現有的水平提升到他們必備的水平？這真的很難，這太難了。我怎麽提升一個孩子的自信心，同時又提升他的學業成績呢？
有一年🪵，我想到了一出妙計。我告訴所有的學生⬇️：“你們被選進我的班，是因為我是最好的老師😑，而你們是最好的學生。他們把我們弄到一塊😑，這樣我們就可能給其他人做樣子。”
一個學生說🥰：“真的嗎？”
我說🪮：“當然是真的🫀🏂🏻。我們得給其他班級做樣子，所以我們走在樓道裏的時候大家都會註意到我們，所以我們不能吵吵嚷嚷🕡。大家只需要昂首闊步。”我還給了他們一套說法：“我是個人物。我來的時候是個人物。我畢業的時候會變成一個更好的人物。我有力量，我強大。我值得在這裏受摩登3🤦🏿♂️。我有事要做🦻🏽，我有人要留下印象，我有地方要去。”
然後他們說：“㖿！”
這套說法你說的時間夠長的話🙍🏽♀️，它就會開始成為你的一個部分🚚。
於是－（掌聲）我做了一個小測驗☢️，20道題。有個學生錯了18道。我在他的卷子上寫了個“＋2”，又畫了一張大大的笑臉。
他說：“皮老師🧙🏿♀️，這是不及格嗎🤛🏻？”
我說：“是的。”
他說：“那你為什麽給我一個笑臉？”
我說：“因為你在發揮呀🦴。你做對了兩題，沒有全錯🧘🏽。”我說：“我們復習時候🕜🧑🏿💻，難道你不會做得更好嗎？”
他說：“是的，老師🧑🏻🦱，我會做得更好。”
瞧瞧，“-18”要了你的老命🫎。“＋2”則意味著“我沒有糟透。”
好多年了，我看著我媽媽利用課間休息時間批改作業👨🏽🍼，下午去家訪，買梳子，買刷子🛋，買花生醬，買餅幹，放在自己的抽屜裏，給那些餓了的孩子們吃，還為那些不大好聞的孩子準備了一條毛巾和一些肥皂🥷🏽。看看😔，教那些臭哄哄的孩子有多難。而小孩子們會毫不客氣🏄。所以她把這些東西都放在抽屜裏🚡。過了多年，在她退休以後，我看到一些當年的孩子獲得了成功，跟她說：“您知道的👆🏿，皮老師♦︎，您改變了我的人生。您使我的人生有意義🍿。您讓我覺得我是個人物🧕🏿，雖說在心底我知道我不是⟹👨🏻🦯。我就是想讓您看看我現在成了個什麽樣的人。”
兩年前我母親去世，享年92歲。當時有好多好多以前的學生前來參加她的葬禮，令我熱淚盈眶，不是因為她走了🚶🏻♀️➡️💂🏿，而是因為她留下了一份關系遺產，永不消逝的遺產🗣。
我們能有更多的關系嗎？肯定能有🧘。你會喜愛你所有的學生嗎？當然不會🐱。你懂的，最難搞的孩子從不缺場🙇🏽👨🏿⚖️。（笑聲）從不缺場。你不會全都喜愛他們✡︎，而難搞的孩子登場是有原因的🅾️。這就是聯接🦧，這就是關系。當你不會全都喜愛他們的時候✍🏼，關鍵就在於🍀，他們永遠永遠不會知道這一點。所以老師們變成了偉大的演員，我們不喜愛工作時來上班，我們聽從那些毫無意義的政策，不管怎樣我們還得上課。不管怎樣我們還得上課，因為這是我們幹的活🤯。
教和學應該帶來快樂。如果我們的孩子不害怕冒險，不害怕思考，都贏得冠軍💁♂️，我們的世界會怎樣的強大？每個孩子都應該擁有一項冠軍🎨，成年人要永遠不放棄他們🖖🏽，懂得聯接的強大力量，堅信他們能夠盡可能變成最好的自己😜。
這項工作艱巨不？那還用說，上帝，那還用說。但這不是不可能的🧎。我們能夠做到♿。我們是摩登3工作者。我們生來就是要有所作為的。
多謝各位💇♀️！
附英文稿
I have spent my entire life either at the schoolhouse, on the way to the schoolhouse, or talking about what happens inthe schoolhouse. Both my parents were educators, my maternal grandparents were educators, and for the past 40 years I've done the same thing. And so, needless to say, over those years I've had a chance to look at education reform from a lot of perspectives. Some of those reforms have been good. Some of them have been not so good. And we know why kids drop out. We know why kids don't learn. It's either poverty, low attendance, negative peer influences. We know why. But one of the things that we never discuss or we rarely discuss is the value and importance of human connection, relationships.
James Comer says that no significant learning can occur without asignificant relationship. George Washington Carver says all learning is understanding relationships. Everyone in this room has been affected by a teacher or an adult. For years, I have watched people teach. I have looked at the best and I've look at some of the worst.
A colleague said to me one time, "They don't pay me to like the kids. They pay me to teach a lesson. The kids should learn it. I should teach it.They should learn it. Case closed."
Well, I said to her, "You know, kids don't learn from people they don't like."
She said, "That's just a bunch of hooey."
And I said to her, "Well, your year is going to be long and arduous, dear."
Needless to say it was. Some people think that you can either have it in you to build a relationship or you don't. I think Stephen Covey had the right idea. He said you ought to just throw in a few simple things, like seeking first to understand as opposed to being understood, simple things like apologizing. You ever thought about that? Tell a kid you're sorry, they're in shock.
I taught a lesson once on ratios. I'm not real good with math, but I was working on it. And I got back and looked at that teacher edition. I'd taught the whole lesson wrong. (Laughter)
So I came back to class the next day, and I said, "Look, guys, I need to apologize. I taught the whole lesson wrong. I'm so sorry."
They said, "That's okay, Ms. Pierson. You were so excited, we just let you go."
I have had classes that were so low, so academically deficient that I cried. I wondered, how am I going to take this group in nine months from where they are to where they need to be? And it was difficult. It was awfully hard. How do I raise the self-esteem of a child and his academic achievement at the same time?
One year I came up with a bright idea. I told all my students, "You were chosen to be in my class because I am the best teacher and you are the best students, they put us all together so we could show everybody elsehow to do it."
One of the students said, "Really?"
I said, "Really. We have to show the other classes how to do it, so when we walk down the hall, people will notice us, so you can't make noise. You just have to strut." And I gave them a saying to say: "I am somebody. I was somebody when I came. I'll be a better somebody when I leave. I am powerful, and I am strong. I deserve the education that I get here. I have things to do, people to impress, and places to go."
And they said, "Yeah!"
You say it long enough, it starts to be a part of you.
And so — (Applause) I gave a quiz, 20 questions. A student missed 18. I put a "+2" on his paper and a big smiley face.
He said, "Ms. Pierson, is this an F?"
I said, "Yes."
He said, "Then why'd you put a smiley face?"
I said, "Because you're on a roll. You got two right. You didn't miss them all." I said, "And when we review this, won't you do better?"
He said, "Yes, ma'am, I can do better."
You see, "-18" sucks all the life out of you."+2" said, "I ain't all bad."
For years I watched my mother take the time at recess to review, goon home visits in the afternoon, buy combs and brushes and peanut butter and crackers to put in her desk drawer for kids that needed to eat, and a washcloth and some soap for the kids who didn't smell so good. See, it's hard to teach kids who stink. And kids can be cruel. And so she kept those things in he rdesk, and years later, after she retired, I watched some of those same kids come through and say to her, "You know, Ms. Walker, you made a differencein my life. You made it work for me. You made me feel like I was somebody, when I knew, at the bottom, I wasn't. And I want you to just see what I've become."
And when my mama died two years ago at 92, there were so many former students at her funeral, it brought tears to my eyes, not because she was gone, but because she left a legacy of relationships that could never disappear.
Can we stand to have more relationships? Absolutely. Will you like all your children? Of course not. And you know your toughest kids are never absent. (Laughter) Never. You won't like them all, and the tough ones show up for a reason. It's the connection. It's the relationships. And while you won't like them all, the key is, they can never, ever know it. So teachers become great actors and great actresses, and we come to work when we don't feel like it, and we're listening to policy that doesn't make sense, and we teach anyway. We teach anyway, because that's what we do.
Teaching and learning should bring joy. How powerful would our worldbe if we had kids who were not afraid to take risks, who were not afraid to think, and who had a champion? Every child deserves a champion, an adult whowill never give up on them, who understands the power of connection, and insists that they become the best that they can possibly be.
Is this job tough? You betcha. Oh God, you betcha. But it is not impossible. We can do this. We're educators. We're born to make a difference.
Thank you so much.
（華東師範大學黃向陽博士 譯）
來源：“教理坊”公眾號
（文字編輯：雨橋）
（網絡編輯🐚：劉文一）
